January Hibernation

January is the month I feel like going into hibernation. There are probably a couple of reasons for this: first, we're over the excitement and fun and cheer of the holidays.  Two, it's COLD and dreary and wet. Three, it's a long time until payday.  Teachers and principals get paid once a month and January's a long month! (Not mention we spent a lot in December.)  I loved living in SoCal because it felt like we skipped from Christmas to May rather than going through January, February, and March. Most of the time the gray,dreary weather doesn't bother me too much but January is long! If I could just burrow down for the month with some hot chocolate, a warm throw, and some books and a movie or two -- I would love it.  Instead, I get up on these dark, cold mornings and go to work.  The upside to January is that the days are getting longer and it's not always dark when I come home from work now and it's a litte lighter in the morning when I go to work.

In reality I LOVE my work.  I love the children, I feel like I'm serving others in a meaningful way each day. I don't always love their parents.  I do love the teachers I work with -- they are some of the best people I've ever met. I love the mental and intellectual challenge that I have as we work to solve difficult problems.  One of my strengths as a leader is the capacity to build teams, improve morale, and help others develop leadership capacity.  My goal for every teacher is that they will each know their strengths and build on those strengths. I hope each of them will view themselves as learners and realize that working in a collaborative team to problem solve is important to their personal and professional growth. The work is not easy. I don't think about how hard it is -- I simply get to work and focus.

I owe Merrill (my former spouse) a huge thank you in a funny sort of way.  If I had not had to step up and take care of myself and take on the primary responsibility for raising and supporting our children I would not have developed myself professionally.  I guess Heavenly Father really does know our capacity and he provides ways and opportunities for each of us -- according to our need.  I know we each experience the things we need to experience and Heavenly Father increases our capacity and strengthens us according to the need. (I think of the people of Alma in Mosiah 24:15 where it states that they were strengthened to bear their burdens with ease.)  I've been strengthened and my capacity to bear and my capacity to do has been enlarged. I have learned important lessons during these years.  I continue to learn and grow and I am so grateful!

One of the great gifts of my life is the opportunity to gain an education. I am so grateful that Heavenly Father showed me my talents and guided me to develop those talents. I have experienced the Holy Ghost teaching me and enlarging my capacity to learn. Early in my doctoral program I remember hitting a point where I thought, "I'm not smart enough to do this! I've hit my limit intellectually!" and then I felt the guidance of the Spirit as he taught me how to learn more deeply. All of my life I have loved the feeling of light and knowledge filling my soul as I learn. I was able to overcome the barrier in learning and persevere and succeed! (One thing getting a doctorate teaches you is how little you know -- you realize there is so much to learn and you know a miniscule amount!) I am truly among the most blessed of all people.