January Hibernation

January is the month I feel like going into hibernation. There are probably a couple of reasons for this: first, we're over the excitement and fun and cheer of the holidays.  Two, it's COLD and dreary and wet. Three, it's a long time until payday.  Teachers and principals get paid once a month and January's a long month! (Not mention we spent a lot in December.)  I loved living in SoCal because it felt like we skipped from Christmas to May rather than going through January, February, and March. Most of the time the gray,dreary weather doesn't bother me too much but January is long! If I could just burrow down for the month with some hot chocolate, a warm throw, and some books and a movie or two -- I would love it.  Instead, I get up on these dark, cold mornings and go to work.  The upside to January is that the days are getting longer and it's not always dark when I come home from work now and it's a litte lighter in the morning when I go to work.

In reality I LOVE my work.  I love the children, I feel like I'm serving others in a meaningful way each day. I don't always love their parents.  I do love the teachers I work with -- they are some of the best people I've ever met. I love the mental and intellectual challenge that I have as we work to solve difficult problems.  One of my strengths as a leader is the capacity to build teams, improve morale, and help others develop leadership capacity.  My goal for every teacher is that they will each know their strengths and build on those strengths. I hope each of them will view themselves as learners and realize that working in a collaborative team to problem solve is important to their personal and professional growth. The work is not easy. I don't think about how hard it is -- I simply get to work and focus.

I owe Merrill (my former spouse) a huge thank you in a funny sort of way.  If I had not had to step up and take care of myself and take on the primary responsibility for raising and supporting our children I would not have developed myself professionally.  I guess Heavenly Father really does know our capacity and he provides ways and opportunities for each of us -- according to our need.  I know we each experience the things we need to experience and Heavenly Father increases our capacity and strengthens us according to the need. (I think of the people of Alma in Mosiah 24:15 where it states that they were strengthened to bear their burdens with ease.)  I've been strengthened and my capacity to bear and my capacity to do has been enlarged. I have learned important lessons during these years.  I continue to learn and grow and I am so grateful!

One of the great gifts of my life is the opportunity to gain an education. I am so grateful that Heavenly Father showed me my talents and guided me to develop those talents. I have experienced the Holy Ghost teaching me and enlarging my capacity to learn. Early in my doctoral program I remember hitting a point where I thought, "I'm not smart enough to do this! I've hit my limit intellectually!" and then I felt the guidance of the Spirit as he taught me how to learn more deeply. All of my life I have loved the feeling of light and knowledge filling my soul as I learn. I was able to overcome the barrier in learning and persevere and succeed! (One thing getting a doctorate teaches you is how little you know -- you realize there is so much to learn and you know a miniscule amount!) I am truly among the most blessed of all people.

Happy New Year!

So, I've been thinking about little things I can do to improve and be of greater service to others. I'm focusing on small efforts in order to be sure I can actually do something towards improvement.  I want to improve how well I live the Gospel by focusing on small efforts I can make toward following the Savior and serving others.  For example:

• Work more consistently on family history. For the past 4+ years I've set aside family history work while I finished my doctorate. I want to get that going again.  I really enjoy it.  So, my sister and I have agreed to set up meeting times each month when we will get together and organize and focus our efforts on family history. To start we need to figure out where we're at so that's goal #1. 
• Increase my efforts in my visiting teaching. While I consistently do my visiting teaching -- I need to reach out more to the sisters I visit and make more effort to be a real friend to them.  They are all less active and so sometimes I don't feel comfortable reaching out to them the way I should. 
• Continue to attend the temple consistently.

 I also want to continue my personal improvement efforts to improve my health and energy. Since I've had cancer and the extensive treatments which really impacted me more than I care to admit, I've slowly regained my energy and health.  I can help this further by:

•  Continuing to attend WW meetings. I've lost 30 lbs (40 since 2009) in the past year. I need to lose more obviously -- so I will attend my meetings - following the guidelines for healthy eating. 
• Exercising more consistently. Just moving more each day by parking farther away when I go to the store; tracking my steps with the pedometer; doing my stretching and lymphedema exercises for my arm.
• Slowing my life down. I have to constantly work on doing less and focusing more on the simple things that make me happy (and sane) such as reading interesting books, organizing and enjoying my home, listening to music, writing in my blog and reflecting on the scriptures. 

Intellectually I want to continue to work on writing and reading professionally and personally by writing articles for professional publications and keeping up with my blog several times each month.

Most of these things I do already to some degree or another. It's a matter of continuing and improving just a little! I remind myself  "that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass." Alma 37:6

Christmas

We had a wonderful holiday. All of the kids were here and Merrill came again this year. (I began inviting Merrill to family events that past couple of years in order to decrease stress for the kids -- they don't have to choose where to go and where to be -- which becomes more and more complex since they are married.) Lorena was delightful. My dear brother-in-law finished a rocking horse for her that dad had started before he passed away.  Jim finished it for her and it was so cute and she squealed with delight when she saw it on Christmas morning. It meant a great deal to me and to Abby that Jim finished this for her. Dad would be so pleased to see her enjoy this toy.

Jim also dressed up as Santa and paid a visit a day or two before Christmas.  At first she was a little scared by she warmed up to him and we got some cute pics of her.

Not so sure about Santa

A new baby for Christmas

She has learned to pretend and it's so fun to watch her play and pretend to eat or feed you something.  She's very smart and very cute.She's such a tiny little thing that it's easy to forget she's 19 months old and quite capable of so many things. We just thoroughly enjoyed her and spoiled her. (I'm so good at this grandma thing.)

We really missed Dad and I know Mom really had a hard time without him. In one week they celebrated their anniversary, Christmas, and Dad's birthday. So, we knew it wasn't going to be easy and it hasn't been easy.  It's only been 4 months since he passed away and we're not used to him being gone yet.