Setting boundaries...

The past couple of months at work have been horrendous. I had honestly hit the point that I wasn't sure I could keep doing my job and was beginning to think about how soon I could get out and move on to another job. (A job that didn't require me to be nice to mean, angry, mentally ill people.) The stress of the world comes to schools and principals and teachers are the whipping posts or the wailing walls or whatever you want to call it for the community. I'm used to the fact that people take their frustrations out on me and that's just part of my job but quite frankly, this year is worse than ever. As the stress at home is felt by the children -- it shows in their behavior. Parents don't want to hear about it and quite frankly refuse to believe their little darling is capable of mayhem. Teachers become more and more stressed and frustrated. Teachers hate to call parents with bad news...Teachers need more attention.... So, it's just been extremely difficult and frustrating. In fact things had become so difficult I would start an email at 8 a.m. and at 3:30 the same email would remain open on my computer unfinished and unsent.

I was also dealing with a number of people who felt that they could walk into my office at any time without regard for what I was doing or who I was meeting with. They just didn't understand that the open door policy didn't mean free for all -- it means you can schedule time to talk with me!

I felt I was spending my days doing things that were deemed urgent by many but truthfully weren't focused on what my real job is!

Anyway, you get the picture... things have been rough all over! So, I had been praying and thinking about what to do. I was blessed to get to go to a training for principals and their secretaries about how to organize and prioritize your work so that you get the important things done each day and spend time on what will really make a difference in the core mission of the school.

This training taught us how to focus our work time, how to set boundaries and limits on those things and people who waste time and/or eat up time but aren't really important, and ensure that I can get to what's most important each day.

So now, my secretary arranges my appointments; my door is closed when I'm working and no one except the assistant principal and the office staff can disturb me; my desk is clean and free of piles of paper; my time is divided between the office and the classrooms more equitably so I can be in classrooms and spend time with teachers and children. I am now focused on coaching, supporting, and guiding the adults in the building to support the students. Parent meetings are scheduled and set by my secretary and parents do not get to barge in and yell without an appointment (unless there's an emergency). A couple of staff members who liked to drop by and chat and who took up huge amounts of time (seemingly unaware)aren't happy because they can't wiggle their way in without good reason - which tells me I've done the right thing.

I am leaving work at a more reasonable hour. The important tasks are being accomplished; students and teachers are getting the important attention and support they need; and I'm modeling a healthier way of working for my staff. Most importantly, I don't want to quit my job -- I think i can stay. My oncologists would be so proud and would tell me I've done the right thing!!

I feel like this training and my wonderful secretary and her support are a huge blessing from Heavenly Father! My prayers have been answered and my burden has been made lighter.

It's Snowing?!?

I woke this morning to snow! It's March 15th and this is not Utah -- this is Western Washington! Spring will be here in about a week. I wonder what spring will bring?

In some ways, the winter is a reflection of what I'm experiencing at work. So many children in crisis. So many calls to CPS. So many parents struggling with their own mental health and in some cases not really able to take care of their families. I can't help but reflect on how blessed we are to have the Gospel -- not because the Gospel takes away trouble -- we still have troubles and problems -- that's the nature of mortality. The blessing of the Gospel is that it gives us hope, it helps us live sane, hopeful lives.

An example of what I'm thinking about is the confusion and insecurity that children experience when their parents bring different partners home and different significant others into their lives. Frequently, the new partner, becomes more important than the children and the children are subject to someone who is does not put them first in care and safety. (I'm dealing with lots of sad children who fall into this sitaution.) The parent becomes so absorbed in pursuing their own love life that they do not attend to the primary needs of their children. Children are neglected, afraid, and have difficulty doing what children are supposed to do.

Then there is the issue of living beyond our means. Of course, many of us still do. Sometimes we get into trouble just because stuff happens and you can't be prepared for every possible financial challenge. My point is that so many people have been caught up in buying homes, cars, clothing, vacations, restaurant meals, etc. that they can't afford -- living beyond their means. Now, they've lost their employment or their ARMs have jumped in monthly payments that are too high, or they are drowning in debt and the basic stability in providing the basics of life are threatened. (This is a concern for quite a few of my students.)

The Gospel teaches us to be morally clean and to keep covenants. We are guided in paying tithing, living with our means, and given help to prepare for disaster. The calm and peace that comes to our hearts and the opportunity to receive revelation when trouble comes -- because we are keeping our covenants -- is a wonderful gift. We are not spared trouble but we are spared panic, confusion, and hopelessness. With the Gospel we focus on the Savior, and live so that we have the companionship of the Holy Ghost and follow the guidance of the living prophet. Then, after all we can do we will have a peace that surpasseth understanding. We can find our way through and out of difficulty. I have experienced this repeatedly. I have experienced trouble -- some of it pretty scary but the Gospel has the answers and a solution for everything.

Sacrament Meeting and Primary

Today as I took the sacrament I reflected on the symbolism of the bread and water and the symbolism of the act of taking the sacrament. We take these emblems of Christ's body and blood into our bodies. We ingest them. We make them part of our flesh. The symbolism reminded me of the scripture that refers to having the words "...written on the fleshy tables of our hearts..." (2 Cor. 3:3). We are not only to take these emblems into our bodies in symbolism but we are to take the words of Christ, the example of Christ, the Atonement of Christ into our bodies and souls and these are to be written into "the fleshy tables of our hearts", they are to become part of us.

Mormons take of the sacrament much more frequently than other Christians and I am so grateful because it allows us many, many opportunities make the words of Christ, the Atonement of Christ part of our lives. We renew our covenants and each week we can begin anew to be better and to more deeply engrave His words in our souls.

I have to comment on Primary. I realize what I enjoy so much about Primary is that the children are learning the words of Christ. They are learning to follow Jesus. They are learning to be strong and to be filled with hope. Primary is full of light and in the encroaching darkness of the world it makes me happy to see and hear children being taught where the source of all hope and all light comes from - literally and figuratively.

Ok, I've waxed eloquent enough.... for this week.